backyard firepit: keeping the spark alive in your marriage

Foster is 7 weeks old (and no, he’s not sleeping great at night, just look at the bags under my eyes!) and that means it’s been more than 7 weeks since Adam and I have left the house, just the two of us, and gone on a date. And honestly, I don’t know when we will! But that doesn’t mean our marriage has to suffer.

It’s all too easy for your marriage to take a backseat when a new baby comes. And it’s even easier to ignore it when you have more than one little person demanding your attention and sapping your energy at all hours of the day and night. I’ll be honest, I’ve had some ugly moments when I’ve lashed out at Adam and said things I wish I could take back. Yes, I blame the hormones and the utter exhaustion, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be treated that way!

A few weeks ago, after a particularly long week, Adam pulled out the fire pit and said we were going to have a fire once the boys were in bed. At first I resisted. There was laundry to fold and dishes to wash, but he insisted.

I grabbed marshmallows, graham crackers, chocolate, and the baby monitor and we sat outside for an hour. We didn’t have a deep, soul-searching conversation, but for those 60 minutes it was just us.

It didn’t matter that technically we were still “on-call” as parents.

What mattered was that we made time for each other. And it didn’t involve sitting on the couch binging on episodes of The Blacklist (it’s our new favorite show!)

We’ve had plenty of at-home date nights (you can read about them here and here). But amidst the craziness of adjusting to being a family of 4, we desperately needed some adult time. I’m so thankful that Adam recognized this and Now more than ever, we need to invest in us. Even if dates that include a babysitter, someone else cooking dinner, and a movie on a big screen are limited for the next couple months, we owe it to ourselves and to our family to make our marriage a priority!

Your turn! How do you stay connected with your honey when life is crazy?

DIY paint chip embroidery hoop mobile
Whew! It’s hard to believe Foster is now 4 weeks old!

I’ll be honest, the first couple weeks were a blur. He had a hard time nursing (we ended up getting his tongue clipped after 2 weeks) and wasn’t gaining weight. He also wasn’t sleeping much at all, which meant I wasn’t sleeping much.

I finally feel like we are getting into something of a groove. I’m sure it will change in the next couple days, but I’m going to enjoy it while I can! The fact that both boys are napping at the same time and I don’t feel like I have to join them to stay sane, is huge!

Today also marks the first day that Adam is back at work. Amazingly he was able to take 4 weeks off! Honestly, I for a lot of it I felt guilty telling people that he was able to be home for so long, but God knew what we needed. Foster has only been sleeping more than 2 hours at a time at night for the last few days, so it was a huge blessing to have Adam home to help with both boys and let me try to sleep when possible.

I don’t know why I have such a hard time accepting God’s blessings. It’s definitely something I need to work on! It’s silly, but I can’t help comparing myself to others (another thing I’m working on) and feeling like I should be able to handle two kids under two on my own, immediately. As I discovered during the first months with Emerson, parenting is a process and God teaches me as much through these little loves as I hopefully am teaching them!

Foster is still sleeping in a pack ‘n’ play in our room and will probably stay there at least another month. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t work on a few projects to make the nursery special for him!

DIY paint chip embroidery hoop mobile_2

There are countless cute mobile projects floating around on Pinterest, and I had embroidery hoops left over from my embroidery hoop sphere, so I used that as the base for my paint-chip mobile.

I have a couple old paint decks and punched circles 1 and 2 inch circles out of shades of blue and green. Then I sewed the circles together and hung them around the hoop. Super simple!

paint chip mobileI don’t think Foster can even see them when he’s on the changing table, but eventually he will. For now, Emerson loves to bat at them whenever he has a chance.

Obviously we need to take the “E” off the wall and replace it with and “F”. And I have a few other small things to add to make the room feel like Foster’s. Hopefully we have him moved into the crib and Emerson moved into his toddler room by November. I’ll keep you posted!

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