{31 Days of Capturing the Spark Day 10} MultiLingual: Quality Time

by laura.johnson

At some point in our teenage years my father read a quote saying that on average fathers only spend 27 seconds engaged in quality conversation* with their children.  Well far be it for us to be average!  So our new dinner time routine started, every night my Dad forced us into at least 30 seconds of conversation about our day, mostly because he cared, but also to mock the staggeringly pathetic statistic.

Yes, shocking as it might seem some spouses also thrive on more than a 27 seconds of quality conversation.  They yearn for long nights talking on the sofa, and not just talk about the day, but about recent scripture readings, apprehensions about the future, planning for a family, you name it, they adore undivided time of significant conversation.  However, these chatter-filled nights don’t come easy to all of their mates, so remember grace and love will go a lot further than frustration and yelling.

My sister often joke that our love language is Quantity Time not Quality Time.  Yes, we like meaningful conversations, and romantic dates but we really just want to be around our husbands.  This may be why a small studio apartment worked for Cody and I during those first months of marriage!  Even now if we’ve had a particularly busy week I find myself riding along on errands, not because it’s essential that I’m present, but the company sure is nice.  Plus maybe I can convince Cody to stop for ice cream.  Ahh the ways he loves me.

While I do believe the concepts Gary Chapman has defined in his 5 Love Languages books can teach us a great deal about communicating love to one another our hope through this series is, not that you can better define the medium in which you best receive love.  I often hear people say  ‘I’m a time person’ or I’m a words girl’.  Seriously ladies and gentlemen why do we let these list of attributes define us, or worse yet define the fruit of our marriages?  Please let me stand tall from my soap box and implore to you that God has something much richer for your marriage than a label words, time, gifts, service, or touch.  Keep reading I promise to share more.

Need more now?  Check out the full 31 Day series here or our own little love stories here and here.


*Both my father an I have no idea where this factoid came from, and with out a source it’s hard to verify, so know that it may be true, or it may be a good excuse to engage in quality conversation with your children.

(image West Elm)


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  1. Eventually the Princess moved out of the castle and went into another line of work, but her Dad is still the king, and always will be.

    I have no idea what this means, but we could talk about it for 27 seconds, or so…

  2. I LOVE that you talked about this subject! I think, although there are some good things within the love language concept… we can get stuck in thinking that if we don’t “feel” loved that it’s our mans fault and vice versa. I kinda have an issue with this. Father is the one that keeps our tanks full. Our heart and our focus needs to be on letting Him fulfill us. I have to constantly remind myself of this.

    • Yes, yes, yes, preach it sister! That was my biggest issue with the book. Chapman has wonderful insights into how other people operate, but above all we must look to heaven for fulfillment, only Christ promises to give us a ‘cup that runeth over’.

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