{31 Days of Capturing the Spark Day 13} Working Together

by Andrea Cooley

 Adam jokes that my weekend to-do list can spiral out of control. He is usually more realistic about what we can accomplish in a 2 day weekend on top of our typical day-to-day responsibilities. I on the other hand, usually have pie-in-the-sky dreams of what we can accomplish. And my list usually doesn’t take into account sleeping in, taking naps, or watching football. All things Adam thinks are important.

Here is and example of Adam’s list:

  • Sleep in
  • Play Ping Pong
  • Watch football
  • Go to church
  • Take a nap

As opposed to my list:

  • Spend time with friends
  • Laundry
  • Grocery shopping
  • Sleep in
  • Buy supplies for an upcoming project (which usually inspires starting another project or two)
  • Clean the bathroom
  • Research newly inspired home project
  • Take a nap
  • Rake leaves
  • Write a post about raking leaves
  • Do said project and clean up before
  • Friends come over for games

See where our differences lie?

I’ll be honest. Sometimes this frustrates me. I’ll ask him what he wants to get done this weekend and he can honestly say nothing. My first reaction is to jump all over him. Accusing him of being lazy or irresponsible, when those things are not true, he’s just laid back. (This is when I remind myself that this is why I love him.)

For the first few years of marriage, I attempted to tackle my daunting list by myself, however, I’m learning that my to-do list is a lot more manageable—and more fun—when I share it with Adam! Usually the list involves house projects, which we love to do together.  Unfortunately these projects often take longer than anticipated. Like the time we changed the bathroom faucets and after an hour of trying to pry the old faucets loose we ended up ordering pizza. Part of me was discouraged that I couldn’t check the project off my never-ending to-do list, but I realized tht having a happy (fed) husband was more important than finishing the project right then.

Just this past weekend we hung a chandelier (I promise to post pics soon!). There’s a great sense of accomplishment when we work together to get something done. And it doesn’t hurt to have a little incentive, like going out to dinner when we’re done!

I don’t think this is quite what Paul was talking about in Galatians when he instructed us to ‘Share each others burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ’ (Gal 6.2) but, my to-do list is much less daunting when I know I’ll have my husband by my side.

Who makes the to-do list in your marriage?

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Want to read more about rekindling the flame, and remembering the way we felt when we said ‘I do’? Check out the full 31 Day series here and we invite you to read our own little love stories here or here!

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Andrea Cooley

  1. We are totally the same way! But Matt explains it using his hands. He says if we have this much (imagine arms straight forward from shoulders) time, I (Megan) try to pack in THIS MUCH (imagine arms stretched out as far as they can go) stuff, and he (Matt) tries to pack in thismuch (imagine hands about 6″ apart) stuff. haha I love checking things off of my list, but I usually overload it and get overwhelmed. I am learning to get better at leaving room for Matt and his list. :)

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