My heart was racing, my knuckles were white, and all I could comprehend was the next incline, the next descent.
We had raced up the mountain, pushed our 4 wheeled machines to the limit, and took in the breathtaking view from the summit, and now we were on a rushed decent.
Cody lead the group, and I was thankful that I had his tire tracks to follow, but my novice skill set soon became obvious as Cody rounded the next bend and I lost my leader. I pushed ahead, navigating the rough terrain as best I could, but making one mistake after another, I was trying not to let the tears well up or the feelings of abandonment settle in.
Between crawling over boulders and fording rivers my mind drifted back to books we read before we wed. Wild at Heart and the female counterpart Captivating, by John Eldredge with his wife Staci Eldredge. The books beautifully lays out the differences in man and woman, even encourages us to embrace those qualities as a more complete image of God. Amen! But the books go further to encourage men to not think of finding a mate as the quest of life, instead to bring their chosen mate along on a great adventure that will span a whole lifetime.
‘So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman is the adventure. But that is where the relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman does not want to be the adventure; she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself. ‘
–Wild at Heart, John Eldredge Yet here I was caught up in an adventure, and uncertain where to tread next. As I cautiously rounded the next bend I saw Cody waiting for me to catch up, relief washed over me. Before we took off again I told him I needed help, I needed a leader, and of course he was more than happy to comply.
Last week we tackled the topic of submission, what it is, what it isn’t and how it applies even in our modern times. However to discuss submission without addressing leadership would be a great injustice to the beautiful balance God has created, and trust me ladies, God taught me a lot about leadership the rest of the way down that mountain. He is what he showed me:
- Talk- Cody was completely unaware how terrified I was. He was having a good time splashing through the streams and letting his machine soar over the inclines, and like most people he assumed if he was having a good time, everyone else was too. He needed me to ask him for help.
- Look- the rest of the way down the mountain Cody checked over his shoulder to make sure I was right behind him, stopping before each difficult passage to show me the way, and then watching to make sure I crossed safely. It was a small action on his part but it made me feel so loved and cherished, and my is it easy to follow someone who is watching out for you!
- Encourage- One thing is for certain, we’ll get it wrong, leaders will get distracted, forge on ahead, and followers will trail behind, grow resentful, or even stop following altogether. But part of the journey is that we are moving forward together, we might not have it right now but we are working towards the love Christ displayed to us. While we each have different roles in marriage, both spouses are called to encourage one another on in this adventure that is far greater than ourselves.
How do you let your husband lead in your marriage?Want to read more about rekindling the flame, and remembering the way we felt when we said ‘I do’? Check out the full 31 Day series here and we invite you to read our own little love stories here or here!