{31 days of Capturing the Spark Day 9} Becoming One: Emily & Matt

by laura.johnson

Laura and I have been sharing a lot about our marriages so far in 31 Days of Capturing the Spark, but we thought we’d ask some other women to tell us how they keep the sparks flying in their marriages. Today we’re excited to have Emily, from NewlyWife share with us about her marriage! Laura and I feel like we found our “blog kindred spirits” when we found discovered this blog. Emily and her cousin (who we’ll hear from as well) writes with her cousin Megan about marriage and life after you say I do.

When did you get married?
July 6, 2008

How long did you date?
Three years (four years counting engagement)

What was one of your biggest challenges during the first few months of marriage?
Communication was a challenge for us. I’m more outspoken whereas my husband isn’t, which can be frustrating for me.  It was just a matter of being patient and learning to work with our styles of communicating, rather than trying to change him to “my way.”

What was something you wish you’d known before the wedding?
I wish we would have more clearly talked about our expectations of daily living and household roles. We both came with a different set of expectations based on how we were raised that had to be adapted to fit us. Much of our married life has included being on different schedules, as well, which I naively expected to magically fuse together after saying “I do.”

What have you learned since you’ve been married?
Life is hard and it can take its toll on a marriage. To keep ours thriving, we have to take time to be in our own world together, whether it’s on a date night or slow dancing to the credits music after watching a movie at home. It helps to be goofy every now and then, too!

What’s the best part about being married?
As cheesy as it sounds, God has blessed me with my other half. Matt’s my best friend and it’s so neat to see our friendship grow over the years. The best times we have are when our guards are down and we’re our true selves laughing and living in the moment.

What’s your secret to keeping the spark alive after the honeymoon?
Remember why you were so excited about your honeymoon. Back then I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be with my best friend and the world is ours. It’s easy to forget about that in the day-to-day drag, but you can choose to have that same hope. Another thing is when you’re frustrated and tempted to get upset, ask yourself if you would let someone else treat your best friend this way. I bet not.

Want to read more about rekindling the flame, and remembering the way we felt when we said ‘I do’? Check out the full 31 Day series here and we invite you to read our own little love stories here or here!

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  1. Are you sure you’ve only been married 3 years? The wisdom you’ve shared would help many marriages that are much older than yours. I especially like the note-to-self when tempted to criticize: would I appreciate someone else treating my best friend that way? Thanks for sharing some practical insight to make a marriage not only good, but extra-special.

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