A Marriage Challenge

by Andrea Cooley

Ever After Blueprint marriage challengeDoes anyone ever feel like they are stuck in their marriage? I'm not saying stuck in a bad situation, but more like you're just going through the motions. Working. Cleaning. Changing diapers. Picking up after kids. Paying bills. Repeat.

I have a confession. I don't have a perfect marriage. I know no marriage is perfect and every couple goes through challenging times. And I wouldn't even say Adam and I are struggling right now, but sometimes when I blog about marriage and encourage you to be a better wife it feels dishonest.

What place do I have telling you how to love your husband when I hung up on Adam last week because he didn't leave work when I thought he did? Or when I can't remember the last time was that we had a real date night and not just a night where we sat on the couch, ate popcorn and watched a show and called it date night even though we didn't really talk to each other?

I have a love & marriage board on pinterest full of ways to be a better wife, how to pray for your husband, cheap date ideas, and the best ways to communicate. It turns out, it's much easier to pin a clever idea with a cute picture of a smiling couple than it is to actually do something.

I wish I had a great revelation to share with you about how I read a book or went to a conference and transformed my marriage, but I don't. I guess I just want to encourage and remind you that sometimes you have to stop thinking about how you want to have a stronger, healthier, happier marriage and actually do something about it!

So here's my challenge: Sacrifice an evening of watching the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy or working on a project and sit and talk to your husband. Turn off your cell phone, the TV, and the computer. It's fine to talk about the kids, the house, and work, but make sure you also talk about yourselves. Ask him how what he's learning, what things are challenging him, what he's dreaming about. Remember when you were dating and you could talk for hours about everything and nothing and when you got home immediately pick up the phone to talk some more? 

Wouldn't it be amazing if you did this once a month or even once a week?

One reason I've been thinking about this is that when I read about this 3 day marriage challenge from We Are THAT Family, I was really convicted. The challenge is pretty simple. Do each of these things for three days: laugh together, flirt, kiss for 10 seconds or more, stay up late talking, and compliment each other. Seeing the list made me realize that I can't remember the last time I'd done some of them  with Adam. So, I'll be taking the challenge and hope you'll join me!

And if you're looking for a book about marriage, check out The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life. I haven't read it yet, but it sounds really good!

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Andrea Cooley

  1. Joe lured me onto the porch to split a bottle of wine last night (after listening to a baby scream for 45 minutes we needed some quiet!) and it was a great opportunity to connect. Sometimes I forget that he can't read my mind, or that I haven't let him in on some long term goals I've set for myself. It was less than an hour but just the two of us laughing and talking. So simple and so important!

  2. After we spend much needed time just the two of us, minus kiddo, I always feel rejuvinated. Always. Thanks for the reminder.

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