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backyard firepit: keeping the spark alive in your marriage

Foster is 7 weeks old (and no, he’s not sleeping great at night, just look at the bags under my eyes!) and that means it’s been more than 7 weeks since Adam and I have left the house, just the two of us, and gone on a date. And honestly, I don’t know when we will! But that doesn’t mean our marriage has to suffer.

It’s all too easy for your marriage to take a backseat when a new baby comes. And it’s even easier to ignore it when you have more than one little person demanding your attention and sapping your energy at all hours of the day and night. I’ll be honest, I’ve had some ugly moments when I’ve lashed out at Adam and said things I wish I could take back. Yes, I blame the hormones and the utter exhaustion, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be treated that way!

A few weeks ago, after a particularly long week, Adam pulled out the fire pit and said we were going to have a fire once the boys were in bed. At first I resisted. There was laundry to fold and dishes to wash, but he insisted.

I grabbed marshmallows, graham crackers, chocolate, and the baby monitor and we sat outside for an hour. We didn’t have a deep, soul-searching conversation, but for those 60 minutes it was just us.

It didn’t matter that technically we were still “on-call” as parents.

What mattered was that we made time for each other. And it didn’t involve sitting on the couch binging on episodes of The Blacklist (it’s our new favorite show!)

We’ve had plenty of at-home date nights (you can read about them here and here). But amidst the craziness of adjusting to being a family of 4, we desperately needed some adult time. I’m so thankful that Adam recognized this and Now more than ever, we need to invest in us. Even if dates that include a babysitter, someone else cooking dinner, and a movie on a big screen are limited for the next couple months, we owe it to ourselves and to our family to make our marriage a priority!

Your turn! How do you stay connected with your honey when life is crazy?

Serving my husband www.everafterblueprint.com

{photo by Carrie Krupke}

Serving Adam isn't something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about. Serving anyone, truly putting their needs before my own, doesn't usually come naturally. And somehow serving your spouse has earned a negative connotation in our society, especially in terms of a wife serving her husband. As women, the world tells us we need to be strong and independent and  But isn't unselfishly putting the needs of the one you love before your own one of the cornerstones of a healthy marriage?

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When Ashley over at Domestic Fashionista said that she was going to spend the month of October writing about serving her husband, I knew I would learn a lot from her words and experiences! If you haven't read the series, I highly recommend it! She opened my eyes to how I can approach everything from doing our finances to intimacy with a heart of service. I now see how serving Adam is a privilege and a calling.

It is humbling to serve another person. As much as I love Adam, there are days when it is definitely easier to think about what I want before I think about him. There are so many ways I can serve him. Whether it's getting up with Emerson and letting him have an extra 20 minutes of sleep in the morning, putting away his clean laundry, or paying attention when he tells me about his latest computer networking idea, when I humbly serve him I show him how much I love him.

Ashley shares her heart for having a healthy marriage and encourages women to love and serve their husbands well. Sometimes serving your husband is as simple as just sitting and watching his favorite sports team with him and sometimes it requires more of a sacrifice, like choosing to spend a holiday with his family and not complaining about it. The important thing is that we make the choice to serve our husbands every day.

How are you serving your husband this week?

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